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Dear Joanne

Your questions, her wisdom — Joanne’s here with thoughtful advice, warm humor, and a listening ear for whatever’s on your mind.

I just spent two weeks on a cruise ship with thousands of strangers traveling around to different locations. My one take out of it all: Whatever happened to the lost art of common courtesy? Better yet, whatever happened to “Please,” “Thank You,” and, in general, just not being a pain in the neck to everyone?

I have a theory. Somewhere between the invention of the microwave and the arrival of smartphones, common courtesy quietly packed its bags and retired. Apparently, it didn’t leave a forwarding address.

Remember when people said “please” and “thank you”? When you held the door for someone without expecting a medal, a parade, or a tax deduction? When you let someone finish a sentence before jumping in with your own fascinating story about your bunion surgery? Those were the days!

Today, common courtesy seems to be an endangered species. You can spot an occasional example in the wild, but sightings are rare and should be reported at once.

Let’s start with the cell phone. Some people apparently believe that answering a call means putting the phone on speaker and inviting the entire room to take part. Nothing says friendship quite like hearing a complete stranger’s discussion with shockingly uncouth verbiage mixed into the conversation.

Then there’s the art of conversation. Remember when it involved two people? Now it seems to involve one person talking, one person waiting to talk, and everyone else checking their phones. Heaven forbid we make eye contact. Someone might think we’re interested!

And what about interrupting? Some folks have perfected the technique of interrupting before you’ve even finished saying hello. They don’t just finish your sentences; they finish your thoughts, your stories, and occasionally leave you with the lunch tab.

Let’s not forget the parking lot. Apparently, those little yellow lines are merely decorative suggestions. Parking diagonally across two spaces is not a sign of importance. It is a sign that you may need a refresher course in driver’s education.

And while we’re discussing manners, let’s talk about doors. Holding a door open for someone is still considered polite. But if someone is ten feet behind you, you do not have to hold the door until next Tuesday. Courtesy is a virtue, not an endurance sport.

One pet peeve that we discussed in this column before which still gets my goat is the mysterious disappearance of the thank-you note. We used to write them for birthday gifts, dinner invitations, and thoughtful gestures. Now a person can spend hours selecting, wrapping, and delivering a gift and receiving absolutely nothing. Not even a grunt. I suppose we should be grateful they didn’t sell it online. Or did they?

Of course, we retirees aren’t entirely innocent. We sometimes tell the same story more than once, complain about the price of everything, and believe that anyone under 40 is moving too fast. But at least most of us remember how to say excuse me!

Here’s the thing: Common courtesy doesn’t cost a penny. It doesn’t require a membership, a smartphone, or a special certification. It simply requires remembering that other people exist and that they deserve a little consideration. A smile, a kind word, a sincere thank-you, a little patience, or simply listening when someone speaks can make someone’s day. And who knows? You might even enjoy the experience.

So, let’s bring back a few old-fashioned habits. Say please. Say thank you. Hold a door. Don’t interrupt. Put the phone down when someone is talking to you. And for heaven’s sake, don’t treat the person behind the counter as though they personally caused inflation.

We may be retired, but that doesn’t mean our manners should be! After all, common courtesy is still free. And at our age, we should appreciate anything that doesn’t come with a monthly bill.

Let’s make good manners fashionable again. We’ve brought back bell-bottoms, vinyl records, and questionable hairstyles. Surely, we can bring back please and thank you!

Please email me at [email protected] with your thoughts on this topic. I always love to hear from you! (PS: I have been traveling the last couple of weeks, so if I am delayed in returning some email communication, please be patient! I am back in the swing of things this week.)

Have a great week, everyone!

Joanne

On this day in 2008, Barack Obama was elected the 44th President of the United States, making history as the first African‑American to hold the nation’s highest office. His victory marked a significant milestone in American history, inspiring millions with a message of hope, unity, and change. Obama’s campaign galvanized record voter turnout, especially among young and first-time voters, and ushered in a new era of political engagement.

Online Learning Platforms: Expanding Your Knowledge at Any Age

In today’s digital world, learning doesn’t stop at graduation—or even retirement. Thanks to online learning platforms, anyone with an internet connection can expand their knowledge, explore new hobbies, or even start an entirely new career path from the comfort of home.

Whether you’re interested in brushing up on history, exploring photography, learning a new language, or diving into the world of finance, there’s a platform for you. Websites like Coursera, Udemy, Khan Academy, and Skillshare offer a wide variety of courses, many of which are free or low-cost. Some are taught by university professors, while others come from real-world professionals who bring practical, hands-on experience. You can go at your own pace—pause, rewind, or review anytime—and choose subjects that truly interest you.

Online learning is especially valuable for older adults. It allows for mental stimulation, which is vital for long-term brain health. Learning new things helps improve memory, boosts mood, and provides a sense of purpose. And beyond individual growth, taking a course can also lead to community—many platforms include discussion boards or live classes where you can meet others who share your interests.

Not sure where to start? Think about a topic you’ve always been curious about but never had the time to explore. Is it art history? Nutrition? Creative writing? Technology basics? Online learning can be as light or as in-depth as you like. You don’t have to take tests or earn certificates unless you want to. This is your time to learn for the joy of it.

And remember, it's never too late to begin. Whether you want to better understand your smartphone, start a home business, or simply keep your brain active—online learning opens the door.

From the RetireHub Archives: Which insurance gap worries you most as you approach or enter retirement?

Headline: Hearing Loss in Older Women: A Widespread and Overlooked Health Issue

As we age, hearing loss becomes increasingly common—especially for older women—and brings profound social, emotional, and cognitive consequences. Many face diagnostic delays due to lack of awareness or stigma and struggle with high costs and limited access to audiology services, particularly in rural or underserved areas. Untreated hearing loss can lead to isolation, increased risk of falls and cognitive decline, and challenges in daily communication, making early screening, proper treatment, and advocacy vital.

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Slang Phrase of the Day

Phrase: Humble ripple

Meaning: A humble ripple refers to a small, modest action or gesture that ends up having a surprisingly positive or far-reaching impact—like tossing a pebble into a pond and watching the ripples spread. It's often used to describe kindness, encouragement, or community spirit that quietly influences others without seeking recognition.

In a sentence: "Evelyn didn’t think much of starting a weekly knitting circle at the library, but her humble ripple has brought new friendships, cozy scarves, and a whole lot of laughter to our little town."

Good News of the Day

Loch Ness Is About to Welcome a New Monster Not Seen There in 500 Years–the Beaver!

Loch Ness is about to welcome a new monster. This beastie is not to be trifled with: it has razor-sharp teeth and can easily knock down a fully-grown tree. Beavers were last sighted in the area around Scotland’s most famous lake between 1526 and 1527. Now, literally 500 years later, these key ecosystem engineers will […]

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